Choose the right life

2011-10-31T22:37:00.000+08:00

First to fall in love loses . I lost ... hard .

2011-10-30T01:39:00.000+08:00

Drinking straight hard liquor . My throat hurts but my heart hurts even more .

2011-10-30T01:05:00.002+08:00

Days without seeing you is painful , days without hearing you is deafening , days without chatting with you is boring ... I know , just being a typical madly-in-love-guy . I should go back to how I used to be - like Squall .

2011-10-26T22:05:00.002+08:00

My parents think that its safer to work on an at least 300 tonne , pressurized aircraft sometimes 10 metres above the ground and sometimes underneath it . I'm sure it is also very safe to work on the engines which sucks in around 100 tonnes of air per minute .

However , picking fights with idiotic drivers on the steets is dangerous ?! I don't know anymore ...

2011-10-24T18:02:00.001+08:00

Sigh ... I'm so unlucky . Things never change for the better in my case huh ?

2011-10-17T20:54:00.002+08:00

I have the power to attract people ... But not the power to keep them as friends or make some of the opposite sexes to fall for me .

I blame myself for not being a lucky guy . I keep telling myself that I'll be alright but truth be told , it is really difficult to be a lonely guy . To not have a mate when all your other friends are in a relationship , to not being able to feel love from a person you like so much ...

Every time I think of these , it reminds me of my friend Kyte . Who passed away quite recently . He was a friendly guy , added much fun to the crowd he was in but died like he never lived .

I am thinking of ... What if one day I died for real ? Just like how he did . Would people be sad for me ? Pity me ? What I deserve ? Or just another guy where people say stuff like "Oh , died at such a young age ."

I think FF8 really changed my life , I'm so much like Squall or maybe the other way around . Except that he's got a girlfriend at 17 and I'm still single at 20 . Life's gotta suck when its me huh .

2011-10-16T23:05:00.002+08:00

I cried while listening to Fragments of Memories in FF8 .

It reminded me of how life was so well before I am done with high school . The difference between the life now and then ... was huge . Very huge .

2011-10-15T23:53:00.001+08:00

That sad moment when the person you like is in love with herself and you happen to be invisible to her . Whatever , I'm used to this life .

2011-10-12T23:35:00.002+08:00

I'm really emotional these days . Months passed by and I've only seen you three times .

Its not that my mind is getting weaker but ... Its hard to maintain my mind when you're not around .

2011-10-08T00:43:00.001+08:00

Every time I think of you , my mind goes into blank . Then , followed by a sudden heart ache . You wouldn't know 'cause I won't tell you . Even if I did , you won't care .

2011-09-22T21:04:00.002+08:00

Hey guys ! Its been some time since I've last updated . Oh , not like anybody I know visits this site anyway .

I feel like quitting Facebook . I don't have a reason to be there anymore . I want to get over her A.S.A.P . Its so painful .

2011-08-23T21:51:00.002+08:00

Its so hard to quit having a crush on you because you keep talking to me whenever I feel like giving up ...

2011-08-20T22:31:00.001+08:00

Studies DO NOT interfere with your normal daily life , NOR does it affect your relationship with other people .

Everytime I look for someone I had not seen for a very long time , they'll just find some excuses to cover up .

Just a question guys , am I that fucking detestable ? Tell me straight in the face , its better than you people playing hide and seek .

2011-08-18T23:55:00.002+08:00

I always don't get why do people get so tensed over small matters ... And I would classify them as to having weak minds .

Now , I'm facing a crisis myself and I'm getting depressed and frustrated ... So what's this ? Is my mind weak as well ?

2011-08-17T22:20:00.001+08:00

I don't get why I don't get stressed , angry or frustrated easily ... Its so difficult to understand how people around me really feel .

Tip : Take some alcohol , take less cigarettes . You'll train your mind .

2011-08-14T22:51:00.001+08:00

I don't understand what you're thinking ... Please just tell me the reason why you don't want me to see you , is it that you have someone you like ? I'm being hated ? Or you just don't trust me enough ?

2011-08-09T23:16:00.001+08:00

Found pictures in my dad's laptop and started to feel sad all of a sudden ...

I miss home . I miss the past .

2011-08-08T22:20:00.002+08:00

Death , almost everybody is prepared for it . In fact , most people can't wait for it .

As much as people such as me and many others want to die , its not as easy as it is .

What comes after death ? Sadness , responsibilities , cease of existence ...

I was too young to think about death last time . Now , I'm not afraid of it . I'm just worried that people around me suffer from my death and all the stuff I've owed people all these while .

That is all .

2011-08-06T23:49:00.001+08:00

I don't know why , if I get to chat with you all my tiredness and frustrations are gone .

2011-08-03T19:48:00.002+08:00

A blog wouldn't be a blog if its all about you isn't it ?! So here's a change

I had chicken rice for dinner . Cya guys .

2011-08-01T23:17:00.001+08:00

Would you care for me more if I drink more Vodka and tell it to you ?

I'm a greedy person , pardon my misbehaviours ...

2011-07-31T22:07:00.002+08:00

Cars I love , they get damaged .

Women I love , they get away from me .

Ahh ... The similiarities between a car and a woman . They both stray away from me ... Fuck my luck .

2011-07-26T22:25:00.001+08:00

I'm starting to miss Singapore radio channel , you trying to switch it to Malaysian radio channel , your scent while leaning forward , your hair while your head was infront .

2011-07-25T20:44:00.001+08:00

Why won't you meet me ! I have not seen you for months ! The wait is driving me crazy ...........

2011-07-24T23:10:00.003+08:00

She doesn't remember me when she's away ~
She doesn't remember to reply me ~
She doesn't remember this blog's link ~
She doesn't want my help ~
She doesn't give me any chance ~

I'm just so not important to her ...

She won't ever read this post ~

2011-07-23T22:36:00.002+08:00

Saw pictures from war photographers and I felt sick in the guts .

How could there be people who are so stupid as to kill an innocent guy ?

How could rebels , be wielding weapons and terrorizing people's lives when they want good for the country ?

How could people kill each other without even thinking the price of a human life ?

It just irks me to think that I'm living in the same world as these idiots , and breathing the same air as them .

Animals are so much better in this aspect . They don't kill the innocent , neither do they kill for fun . They kill for food , their own survival . Unlike humans .

2011-07-21T22:04:00.002+08:00

How could you be ~ So perfect for me ~ ... I'm going nuts .

Damn virus spreading all over the place . I got flu and fever , recovered partly but still have some headache and runny nose . Sucks to be me ? Yes . Don't ever be me .

2011-07-11T22:09:00.001+08:00

Oh my , what a day . I'm terribly blur today . My dad is an asshole .

2011-07-08T22:06:00.001+08:00

Chien said to me today "You can't get a girlfriend ?! Don't lie ."

Truth hurts . And fate is probably playing with me .

2011-07-04T20:47:00.002+08:00

I feel the need to drink alcohol because of you . Pathetic eh ? Laugh all you want .

2011-07-03T22:19:00.001+08:00

Drink Vodka , ease some 'pain' and 'cold' .

2011-07-03T02:48:00.001+08:00

Again . People with their questions ... "How's your girlfriend ?"

For the tenth thousand time ... I don't have one . Don't ask why , fate and luck is such for me . Sad life .

2011-06-30T19:34:00.003+08:00

Remember the time when you wanted to sit in the front sit , just to show me what you got for your birthday present ? I really got angry 'cause how could you have shown it to someone whom you're not familiar with ? Especially when that guy is in control of where you're going to end up .

Remember the times when you were sitting in the back seat , yet desperately reaching the front just to switch radio channel 'cause you didn't like the one I'm hearing to ? I was worried for your safety and always blocked or pushed your head back .

Remember when you first cried in front of me ? I always thought it was an act but then it struck to me that you could have had a tough life in the past . I wanted to pat your head and say something cool like "Its alright now ."

And then ... What happened ? Why did you change ? Why did every girl that I had a crush on change ?

I could only blame my personality , my looks , my voice , my luck . Wish you girls all the best and better find a better man than me .

2011-06-26T23:30:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow ... WE SHALL START OUR WORKSHOP PRACTISE ! MUAHAHAHAHHAHA ...............................

Let's hope we can finish this without losing a finger , an eye or our lives . Safety first , engineer's lives depend on it .

2011-06-23T23:58:00.002+08:00

Its alright if a person can't have a hundred friends , having one friend more important than a hundred friends is better . Life would change from thereon .

2011-06-22T23:02:00.002+08:00

I know the feeling is not mutual . But the thought of never talking to you or never being able to see you again really hurts me .

Yet , its a path I must go on for my career . My life , my family ... sucks for me . You probably won't feel a thing . I hate things like this ... Which happened for the past 6 times . Sad life .

2011-06-15T23:23:00.002+08:00

Anonymous attacked Malaysian Government websites .

I was supportive of their acts at first but some comments that I found on YouTube actually made me think twice ... Hmm ...

2011-06-13T21:10:00.002+08:00

Can't listen to you , can't see you ... AHHHHHHHHH !!!

I know you don't like me but at least give me some motivation to live through another day in this shit place , please ?

2011-06-08T22:33:00.002+08:00

The thing I don't get it with people these days is ... They don't reply your messages . Boy , girl ... I don't have homosexual or transexual friends so let's just leave it as that .

If you find someone annoying or perhaps just irritating you at the slightest bit , tell it to that person . You'll be helping him or her big time . I myself , annoy people a lot without even knowing and people just chuck my messages aside . FUCKING REPLY THE MESSAGES EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU . Even a message like "Shoo ." is good enough . 4 letters , 1 spacing , 1 dot , hard to press ? Takes a year to do that ?

And everytime I freak out like that , they say I'm an idiot ! WHAT . ARE . YOU . FUCKING . SERIOUS ? I mean , SUREEEEE I act like an asshole but you guys have all the free time in the world and a few words is that hard to produce .

Anyway , I'm complaining here since none of you remember me . Yeah , maybe in a decade or so . You'll be like "OHH THERE'S THIS LOSER CALLED BRENDON" I know you bastards , what you guys think and what you say behind me .

At this time , I have completely lost my mind . Things are happening and my mind can't really take the impact . Forgive me if I ever intentionally hit the mark in this update . (As if you guys would .)

2011-06-06T21:24:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why I always fall for girls like you . My world could have been better without you and yet , it could have been so dull without you .

2011-06-04T23:43:00.002+08:00

Friends , they treat you as a friend only when you're needed . Other than that , sorry and goodbye .

Damn hypocrites .

2011-06-03T16:36:00.003+08:00

Ahh ... Another nose bleed . Day sucked . Couldn't chat with you . Didn't want to bother you .

You know , I used to laugh at all your stalkers . Like what idiots they are and stuff ... But now , I know how they feel .

2011-06-02T22:54:00.001+08:00

Ahhh , my mum can't spell properly for crap . That's why her English is like ... getting crappier by the day .

2011-06-02T20:17:00.001+08:00

My nose bled today ... Sucks to be me .

2011-06-01T18:01:00.002+08:00

A day seems so long when I can't chat with you , can't hear your voice , can't see your face- Then again , its all just me . I bet you're like "Oww not this guy again ."

2011-05-30T22:58:00.001+08:00

And so ... Someone wants to go England . Oh great , I'll be heading to Russia instead . I guess I'll only see you in 10 years time after that :(

2011-05-29T23:35:00.002+08:00

Sometimes ... I don't really know if I'm lucky or unlucky .

-Unluckiness-
I'm single even at 19 . People are dating at the age of 15 . Geez , I guess what they say is true . Past the time and you'll never get a girlfriend . *My cousin has a boyfriend and she's younger than me by one year . The only fucking thing I don't get is why ugly men always get all the hot ladies ?! Longer dick ?*
My car is wrecked . Yes , my dearest car is wrecked . Not getting a girlfriend is one thing but car being wrecked just adds more pain to me .
KL life sucks . I hate this place but in order to live for another 6 decades or so , I better get the license and be a real man .

-Luckiness-
I didn't die from the crash . But then ... My car is wrecked . Shittest . Thing . Ever . Period .
I have a lot of lady friends ! Yes and I'm still single .
I have a good family ! The only one thing I'm so glad of in my entire life .
I am better looking than any other shit guy who has beautiful girlfriends ! ... AHAHAHAHAHA EAT THAT YOU UGLY FAGS .

As a fucking conclusion ... MY CAR NUMBER PLATE BETTER STRIKE A HEAP SUM OF LOTTERY .

*At this point , my mental state is in a mess . 'Cause of all the shit that has been going on and a one sided admiration .*

2011-05-29T10:25:00.001+08:00

Ah yes , haven't been blogging much 'cause my car got into an accident ...

Suck to be me again .

Stupid shit causing a lot of trouble for me ...

2011-05-24T22:21:00.003+08:00

Get over it Brendon , you're not getting a girlfriend with all the guys around . *GASP*

Sucks to be me .

P/S : And people keep saying that its impossible for me to not have a girlfriend ... I hate them .

2011-05-22T23:45:00.002+08:00

Some people like to love others .

Some just like others to love them .

What to do .

2011-05-18T00:00:00.000+08:00

My dad , talks crap when he's drunk ... Non-stop .

2011-05-14T21:08:00.003+08:00

Its so boring here ~~~ I miss those days in Johor where I can just kick back , relax ... Be a boss . Since I'm bored , I might as well blog a bit about my daily life here .

Wake up daily at 6:30a.m , snooze for 10 minutes .

Wake up at 6:40a.m , snooze for 10 minutes again .

Wake up at 6:50a.m ... Yeah you know the routine .

FINALLY woke up at 7:00a.m , get my towel and go for a shower ! Finish shower around 7:20a.m , get dressed (I wear professional uniforms , not your usual type of handsome , girlish looking guy . I get less attention from ladies compared to those wussies but ... Hey , at least I look manlier than them .) , have breakfast , start my car and I'm off !

Get stuck in the jam at Summit for about ... 30 minutes ? Its hard to tell really . The longest jam I had there was 1 hour and 10 minutes . Reach APR office at around 8:30a.m (I'm the earliest , to hell with engineers if that wasn't early .) . Oh yeah , damn staircase is a pain in the arse ... Every morning starts with an exercise session up the stairs .

Lesson starts at 9:00a.m , not exactly nine but ... Instructors are late sometimes ...... and they call themselves engineers ! HAH !

Morning break at 10:30a.m ! There's a malay restaurant a few blocks from the APR office . They have nice roti canai but takes quite some time to be served . (What can we expect ? Only one poor Malay dude working on orders for everybody there ...) Our usual lepak spot . 11:00a.m - Sadly , break time doesn't last forever so we march back to the office for our lessons .

1:00p.m , lunch break ! No we don't have our lunch at the Malay store , its either the Chinese hawker store which is ten thousand miles away or De Buluh , another Malay restaurant except they don't serve roti canai .

2:00p.m , end of our break . Once again , its depressing . Sigh ...

Tea break around 3:00p.m . Sometimes , we don't get any breaks at all . Depends on our instructor's mood aye ?

Best moment of the day is when our lessons finally end , 5:00p.m . ONCE AGAIN , IT IS NOT NECESSARILY AT FIVE . We have over-time like any other jobs do ... Yeap , it means working more without getting paid and paying instead in my case .

Till I get anymore ideas on what I should blog about ... Cya !

2011-05-03T22:07:00.002+08:00

Hey there ! I haven't been updating much well ... I'm bored of blogging . I'm currently in Selangor , proceeding with my 'studies' in APR , an aviation training centre .

All in all , I am well except a little lonely 'cause it gets kinda bored staying in an apartment after lessons and stuck with crappy internet .

2011-03-27T00:50:00.000+08:00

Well ... Umm ... I have nothing to update on . Sigh , boring life ~

2011-03-16T22:30:00.003+08:00

Final Fantasy VIII .

A great game during my childhood days which influenced my life and made me the guy I am today !

You know , I used to enjoy listening to the soundtracks of this game . It actually took me 1 year to complete the game ! ... Well okay , I wasn't able to complete the game at all . Everytime I start a new game , try to get good materials and all ... Then I reach the part where you have to battle this sorceress whom was mighty strong ! Sadly when I finally figured out how to defeat her , my PS1 broke I never played it since .

This game ... reminds me of my childhood , and some part of it does resembles my life . I was too young to know the meaning of love that time , I didn't know why did Laguna had to give up his love ... I didn't know why Rinoa and Squall are being so cold to each other in the beginning even though they liked each other at first glance ... BUT ! I know its a good game and I knew its gonna be big .............. HAHHAHAHA I FORGOT TO MENTION THIS WAS ONE OF MY FIRST PS1 GAMES EVER ! TALK ABOUT NOSTALGIA ! (My dad squeezed every ounce out of his wallet to buy me PS1 , am I happy ? I was so happy I didn't sleep the first day he got it for me . More reasons to act sick and stay at home play game !)

You know guys ... I know I've said this like billion times ... The soundtrack is amongst all of the songs in my mixpod playlist , give it a try . Its the best song of the century ;)

2011-03-15T18:21:00.001+08:00

Ohhhhhhh kay ... Its been a long time since the last update , and random people have been spamming my cbox ...... SCREW OFF .

Alright , so- The water died out in my neighbourhood today , awesome . I was having a shower and suddenly "Oh ... ? ... AAHHHHHHH !! RAAAAGGGGEEEEE !!!! "

2011-02-19T23:45:00.002+08:00

Beards and moustache . I looked into the mirror and saw the manliest guy ever lived . HAH !

So boring ... I'm at home ~ Doing nothin' ~ Crap , I need to start something . Maybe some workouts ?

2011-02-14T23:40:00.002+08:00

I am , unlucky . As always .

Today I sms-ed with that lady again (You know , from the last post ?) So yeah , apparently I've lost my chance to ever get someone like her as my girlfriend . NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!

Here's the ouchie part , I jokingly said "Go out with me" and then said "I'm kidding" then I asked "What if I was serious ?" Know what she replied ? ... "I would if it was last year ." Oww Ouch ... It feels like thousands of fiery maggots rushing to your brains from all parts of your body . I was like - WHAT THE FUCK , I LOST AN OPPORTUNITY THAT GREAT ?!?! AHHHHHHEHUAGBDHJAVSIDYUVEA!@#$!@#!@#!@# !!!!!

So I went into a short-term depression this afternoon , cursing myself for being such a coward !

SO ANYWAY , SKIP THE SAD STORY AND PROCEED TO MY LATEST UPDATE !

Valentines Day . I'M SINGLE DAMMIT . CAN'T PEOPLE MAKE SOMETHING LIKE "SINGLES FTW DAY" ?!?!?!? And ... I went for Shaolin the movie today with my family . My dad is so irritated throughout the day . I mean , come on . You're at home , with your family . Who cares if you have stress ? Or even stupid business partners ?! You're not the only one with stress dammit . So I argued with him on the way to catch the movie . It was so quiet inside the car from the theaters back to home .

Why did I fought with my dad ? He was being an asshole . He's all - I'mma Singaporean attitude . Always going "I'm always right" "You don't know this , you don't know that ." Truth to tell , I know WAAAAAAAAAYYYY more than stude- Scratch that , MORE THAN PROFESSORS DO . I drive better than any other drivers out there as well ! If I were to be such a poor driver , I wouldn't be blogging here , bitching about your attitude now WOULD I ?! (Even my mum got so angry she had to go on a silent war with my dad .. Till we reached home .)

AND NOW , FOR THE MY FAVOURITE SONG OF THE YEAR ! (Okay , last year . I'm outdated alright ?) 1983 by Neon Trees !! I've been clicking on the "Play" button so much that I think its really gonna be 1983 ...

Oh wait , its late and I have yet to shower . So off I go ! Till the next update , see ya guys !

2011-02-09T14:44:00.002+08:00

Ahh .... What a great day ... A beautiful young lady sms-ed me .... Asking for comments on relationship between an older woman with a younger boy ? ... That was weird , but I still supported her . Dang ... Come to think of it , I should have replied "Since its such a trouble going out with a younger man , why don't you go out with me instead ?"

I'm a genius but my geniosity sure came late ._.

2011-02-02T21:39:00.002+08:00

I've recently picked up manga reading again . No , I'm not an otaku . Even though I really do stay at home a lot and do nothing .

So , I've read mangas about human cyborgs and how humans who are 100% human managed to inspire these cyborgs and make them feel human ! These mangas are great but kinda obscene , I'd still recommend them though - Gunslinger Girl , School Shock . Yes , they both feature female characters as cyborgs and uhh ... (Being naked and all . Hey , they're just drawings aye ?)

Reading these mangas made me feel that ... Humans , machines . We're not much of a difference actually . WE (humans) invented machines to fufil our needs , in one or another you could say that they are part of US , our creation . And with the accelerating development of the world , one can say that humans are trying to be machines . Look around us now , we're trying to achieve perfection in everything we do . Studies , work , researches ... In life ? People study , work and do researches to perfect the thing we call "Life" But are those really necessary ?

WE , are degrading as humans . Advancing as machines . We degraded in terms of love , morals and ethics . We advanced in materialism , monopolism , politics , science and war . Aspects of which would create the thing called 'chaos' .

Don't mind my preaching , I'm just trying to get stuff off my head so I can figure out the next thing that's been stuck in my head . Ok , I just created a mindfuck sentence . Hahahahaa !!

Reunion dinner ! Hope everybody had their fill for this Chinese New Year ! No I won't wish anybody Happy Chinese New Year 'cause everybody is already happy enough . My mum and dad made herbal chicken for our dinner ! I know , what a weird dish to prepare for such an occasion right ? This evening they were preparing dinner and my dad went "We need to fry the garlic and onions first ." My mum flattened a few of those buggers (I just felt like calling them that okay ?) and threw them into the wok my dad was working on with oil . He was like "Oww !! Eh dear , don't throw in like that leh ." "Why ?" "Well you see , I'm not wearing anything on my upper body am I ?" Then they went on and on ... arguing about all the meticulous stuff . The herbal chicken turned out well , better than the restraunt few blocks down the street . (Not really FEW BLOCKS down the street but a 15 minutes journey , its NEARBY for me you know .)

And then ... Updating on what I'm doing ... I'M ON THE COMPUTER AGAIN ! Its so darn boring ... I wish I had a life like those male characters in mangas . You know , school life with female schoolmates wearing short skir- I mean , pretty ladi- I MEAN , A LIFE THAT DOESN'T INCLUDE SITTING INFRONT OF THE COMPUTER FOR THE WHOLE DAY ! Then again , I wish I had superpowers , fighting villains all the time . Travelling all over the place ! ... Back to reality , I just wish that I had someone to accompany me other than my family . That's all .

2011-01-31T01:23:00.002+08:00

Its been raining for quite a few days non-stop lately ...

Lolkay , serious update alright ?

Still busy with Minecraft and ... My A-levels deposit , FINALLY . GOD DAMMIT . You're probably wondering why I'm so angry at this . Well , the cheque took WEEKS to be processed and finally sent to my house . During the time whereby its still not at my doorstep , my mum bugged me over and over again about the deposit .. "Eh , received the deposit ?!" "Boy ! Go college and ask about the deposit !!" And so ... I drove to college to and fro for a few days ... IN THE MORNING . Yeah , I have to sell some of my crap books as well BUT ! BUUUUUUTTT- I get to speed on the highway which is cool . HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA !! Blessing in disguise I guess .

So then ... Lately I'm so into Vodka . My dad said I'm a hard drinker and then tells me if I can't stand the alcohol don't drink too much , don't drink and drive bla bla bla ... Like , dad . You taught me how to drink . And I have inherited the alcoholic genes from our great ancestors , surely I could hold out till I reach home ?

Grandma went back to her home for Chinese New Year . FINALLY . SOME PEACE FOR MY EARS . Even my mum was like "So where are we going next ?" after my mum boarded the bus to her home . I was "You don't mean .... YOU WANNA SHOP ?!" *Nods and smile* Seriously , my mum could be so childish and selfish that me and my dad could hardly keep up with her ... Sometimes . So she bought some roasted bacon and ... mandarin oranges ! I hate them *Puts on a big smile*

Yeah Facebook for a few times before I sleep and then I came to realise this thread that this girl I'm so interested in . Ok , to all girls out there . I'll be honest with ya . MEN JUDGE BY LOOKS AND BODY FIGURES . If you ever come across a man that doesn't care about your assets , GRAB HOLD OF HIM TIGHTLY (Of course if he looks like shit you could NOT force yourself to be with him either) And I've been thinking about how crooked I am to actually judge girls or "like" them by their looks and body figures . I mean , there are a few very good girls with average looks confessed to me and I can't accept them 'cause they are either too fat at the hips or simply nuts when it comes to men (Yeah , I've encountered all sorts of women in 19 years of life . From those who gives hints and tips to those who are shy and non-initiative)

AND THEN ... Back to the topic , I find myself kinda like a jerk you know what I mean ?! Then my friends encourage me so much to go after that certain girl but then again ITS SO WRONG !! Maybe she already have someone she likes , MAYBE she's ALREADY ENGAGED OR MARRIED !! *Hysterical me* (Wanqing if you're reading this , no its not the girl I told you before . Its just the smell that attracts me that's all .)

Sleeping late and waking up late these few months , my dad is doing the same as well . He says that he can't sleep well but then when he lays on the bed , he's dead . Yeap .

P/S : May not blog that much anymore after CNY since I have to work ... So to all those who actually reads my blog (Just Mel .... Kimmy and Jin ... Guhh ... WHERE'S ALL MY OTHER MATES AYE ?!) You'll see my blog with some spider webs hanging around .

2011-01-24T00:13:00.002+08:00

Heya !!! I'm here again ! So Minecraft is up and running again !! HMOD decided to go lame and maime but guess what , Bukkit is here to save the day .

Updating ... "Right now , a damn fly is flying around my room . I hope this creature could extinct ."

2011-01-19T17:29:00.002+08:00

Hey guys ......... Its another boring day . And I think I'm becoming more like my grandfather .

The story goes like this .

My grandpa , was an amazing guy (My dad says he's nothing more than drunkard though) . I mean , he's made my dad make so much joke out of him infront of me ! My dad always said how drunk he was all the time ... And only realizing that my dad is his son when drunk . Then dad told me about how he used to ask him whether it was holiday everytime he sees him at home 'cause he was almost never home .

Nowadays , I wake up in the morning (Okay ! Late in the morning alright ?) I on Facebook , reply on comments left on my status and stuff . Then I would typically click on this friend's chatbox and mine and ask "Heya ! Holiday today ?" And she's like "No ... I'm getting ready for work ." (Yes , I'mma evil troll who likes to disturb others daily life . Hehehehehh ...)

You see , its so boring for me everyday . That I have to do some drama with myself everytime playing games . In SuddenAttack I would : "What . WHAT . WHAAAAAAATT !!!!!!@@@" In Minecraft I would : "I need wood ... THERE'S NO FREAKING WOOD IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT !!!" "Why are you staring at me you pig , DIE FOR YER SINS !!" In Celinosea : "Look ! I leveled !! Now wut ." And EVERYDAY , its almost the same thing over and over again ...

Oh yeah , let's talk about my neighbourhood . I have a neighbour who slams the door all the time , another neighbour that plays 80's music insanely loud (To be honest , I love those songs . His taste is king , yet annoying 'cause he starts around 8am) , ANOTHER one who revs his motorbike every morning before going off for work ... Geez , the list of weirdos living around here is increasing as I type .

What else ... I'm back to Asiasoft forums ! Quoted from retarded-woman "Omg we'll be seeing big red words again !! (guhh)"

BIG RED WORDS Heheh ...

2011-01-18T12:31:00.003+08:00

Heya ! Its been a long time since I drove at speeds exceeding 150km/h ... I miss that feeling so much ! Especially when the surge of power increases from 150 ... 160 ... 170 ... !!! Ok , maybe I'm not daring enough to go after 170 . I mean , I'm afraid that my car would spoil . No , actually I'm just worried about my car , the speed is nothing to me ! I can accelerate to 200+ if someone actually buys a new car for me ! *Winks* Yes , I'm hinting .

Today ... is a good day . That's all for today's update .

2011-01-17T00:07:00.002+08:00

I am SOOOOOOOOOOO angry with my mum , dad and grandma today ! (I won't use PISSED 'cause that'll make me sound like some kind of American wannabe .)

SO , THIS . IS . WHAT HAPPENED .
It was a great and fine day ... Lalalala ~ Then suddenly
Mum : "Get ready , we're going to City Square ."
Me : "What ? ... Why ?!"
Mum : "For your University enquiries of course . And also about how to enroll ."
Me : "What the ffffffffff....reak ."

BOOM . And we're there . Actually we had lunch before that and we were so late that the office was gonna close soon . My dad actually lectured me loudly in the public about how slow I eat . Like seriously , I can't go any faster dad .

Then we talked about Financing ... (Yeah I know , I said about how I was gonna take up Aerospace right ?! Scratch that , its been monopolized and you have to pay your entire family asset PLUS straight A's to study that course . Oh of course , studying makes you a good employee . Yeah , makes good fucking sense ! *Suck mah bawlz damn bastards .*) So uhh .. Financing is good ! You get to analyze the whole money system and all ... There's one little problem . Requirement to enroll for this course is CDD (A-levels only) . Waaaaauuuu ..... Just- Wow . I got DEE for my AS . I was like , Holy shit what am I supposed to do then ? Die in the society ?

The person enquired to was kind like "Noohhhh ... You result no good . No in ." You're kidding right ? A private university actually recruit students by requirements ?! COME ON ! CUT ME SOME SLACK ! Then I said " ... Let's wait for my A2 results first . THEN we'll decide ."

Finally we got home and my parents were saying about how lousy my results is bla bla bla ... Then my mum told me "We've decided . To send you for the Aviation training programme ." Oh no ... I'm stuck to airplanes forever ?! I mean , I love them but I don't want to be stuck to it ! ... Fine . "What to do , you get so lousy results ! We told you to study but you won't listen !" I just kept quiet ... Listen to them lecturing me ... I don't regret my decision for not studying properly . Education is scandal . Scandal profits the powerful people and not normal citizens like us . We have no power to monopolize the market ! And also , why on Earth do we have to MEMORIZE everything ?! Might as well make robots . They never forget . Damn society leaders bastards .

Out of the blue , my grandma came in my room and spoke to my mum . For the few miracle moments in my life , she actually spoke up for me . But I still hated her . Know why ? "Your son is very smart , not that he's unable to study or what . He could score straight A's if he wanted to ! But he didn't ! Why ? Because he's too LAZY . " Yeaaaaap , you've guessed it . She said I was lazy . Geez , I agree being lazy on everything other things . But STUDYING , I really hate it . It reminds me of how this society is being brainwashed and MADE to study to excel in life . Seriously , would you memorize how to build a building ? Memorize how to teach students ? Memorize how to treat patients ? Yes , you need basics . But requirements for University ? That's plain bullshit .

Then it was night time , I played SuddenAttack . I killed this guy and I typed "Die you camping beetch ! >:)" He's like a man who lost his pride and replied "I was playing with my pistol , want to try again ?" T-Y-P-I-C-A-L . A-S-I-A-N . A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E . My dad said Chinese couldn't handle losing their pride . I guess its true (Hey ! I'm Chinese !)

AND THEN ! Its time to sleep ! Ciao my blog . Sweet dreams my dear car . See you next morning my lousy yet important to me craptop !

2011-01-14T23:56:00.002+08:00

I-found-a-freaking ... What did I find ? I'm in a trance today and I can't do anything well ...

SO ANYWAY ! I drove my dad to Kulai for his hand treatment . He can't drive so I have to ... DRIVE !!! YAY !! Its so fun right ?! I know , I know . Driving across the country (state) and increasing your speed bit by bit ... I mean- I CAN'T TELL HOW HAPPY I WAS !! (I wasn't happy on the other hand 'cause my dad wouldn't allow me to go any faster)

Screw that .

MINECRAFT !!! Yes , one of the most graphically fugly yet interesting game in a sense that its a survival game ! You log , dig , mine , grow weeds ... Wait what ? Yes , WEEDS . I'mma smoke mah pot uh weeds lataaaarrrr ... You get to fish , sun rises , sun goes down , moon rises and goes down again . Zombies make irritating sounds , zombies die in sunlight , skeleton archers are FUCKING annoying , dies in sunlight too ... Creepers are amazing man ... They stalk you and blow up when they are cloe (Kinda screwed up) . Overall , its a good game .

And uhh ... I'M BACK TO BLOGGING ! Thanks to Melly and Kimmy who soooorrrttaaa make me do blogging again . Hey , at least someone reads what you rant about . Hahahahahaa !!

2011-01-13T00:51:00.002+08:00

I don't understand , what's wrong with my fucking grandma ?

People always tell me : "Old people lar ~ Let them be ." What the hell ? THAT-IS-NOT-AN-EXCUSE . I mean seriously , how can an old bitch look down on her grandson SO MUCH , that she thinks that he can't even use a dictionary ?!

Oh oh , I get it . SHE'S RETARTDED ! I'm not a gambling addict (I am a game addict though) , not a smoker , a drinker ... Yes but does that matter ? I'm also NOT gonna retake A-levels just because I flunked it . Memorizing sucks , requirements sucks . Like employers would look at how well you do at memorizing ... "Oh , you're so good at memorizing . Let's see , I'll send you to the nerds section where you can have satisfy your fetish with books ~" Fuck that .

Let's not leave out my mum and dad , they are getting old as well ... Not much of an asshole like my grandma but still irritating . My mum nags about how lousy I would do surviving in the society and my dad would talk about how lucky I am ... I won't disagree to those but surely , I survived long enough to actually complain about it .

Update on today's activities ... !! I did nothing actually -.- BUT !! BUT !!! I am going to my college tomorrow to sell my stinking A-level books ! Yay ! That's something worth to be happy of ! So till tomorrow , cya ~

2011-01-10T20:49:00.002+08:00

Dropping by to say ... Never introduce photoshop to women .

2010-12-22T00:50:00.002+08:00

So A-levels is over and done with , now I'm faced with a new torment - University .

Guess what , requirements , requirements and MORE requirements . This world is just full of them . What does it prove ? You're better at memorizing books ? You're intellectually "smarter" than the others ? I find this world revolting , digusting , idiotic .

An example of whereby even an A-levels graduate is smarter than some engineer in the society . So there's this never ending construction of an overhead bridge near my neighbourhood , its a mess really . Dust everywhere ... uneven terrain ... They even screwed up the main road where residents use to travel around . So here's the joke , they actually managed to build a new and smooth road ... TO THE SKY . HAHHAAAAHAHAAHA !! THEY ACTUALLY BUILT A ROAD ONTO THE UNFINISHED BRIDGE ! INSTEAD OF BUILDING A NEW ONE FOR THE MAIN ROAD .

Ahh ... Its stupid , really . This is such a strange world I'm living in . Its like , there's no logic to what people are doing here ! Why requirements ? Why certificates ? They don't hold any value , no prove to that a person is capable of doing a job . We spend hundreds of thousands just to study , what is that for ? Surely we deserve better than a rotten piece of paper and requirements all over the place ?

People say I'm crazy , I say THEY are idiots . When asked "Why do we study ? For knowledge aye ?" "Why do we need REQUIREMENTS ? EXAMS ?" Yes , they answered . But none of them were logical . When I slapped them with a sentence of "You're retarded ." None of them replied . Its the only question whereby I can actually make people become a mute . I'd say politicians monopolized the whole damn system . Such that they can profit themselves . Forcing people to study again when failed as to "donate" money to the government . Its a damn conspiracy , to make those who don't have talents to study , doomed forever .

Its not that I'm being creative or just trying to talk my way out of education , but its just that dark . Its the TRUTH . Education has been monopolized by those bastards from since ancient times . I would go back in time and kill those retards if I could .

2010-11-28T22:18:00.003+08:00

The feeling of finding something beautiful but not knowing how to cherish it until it is gone and out of your reach , its painful . But then the thought of having seen something beautiful once , was enough for an ill fated person .

Damn education system

2010-08-08T21:43:00.002+08:00

Fucked up politicians behind them , we pay them to have a gamble at LIFE itself . Books can't get us anywhere ! Sure , human need to gain knowledge , advance from where they are . But can't that be done in the research department ? Don't they have any idea how many people without the talent to study but have MUCH talent on other aspects ?

Seriously , fucked up world . I bet you that the future generation are all nerds , what's called work ? What's called income ? Fuck it , I don't care about this fucked up world anymore . Bloody people controlling the world turning it upside down .

2010-07-08T20:15:00.002+08:00

Yes , two new songs added to my blog . Updating ... I had dinner today , kaythankscya .

2010-07-02T00:29:00.002+08:00

Hai ~ Its been awhile , I bet you guys don't even know who's the owner of this blog anymore .

Anyway ... If you've noticed , there are two new tracks added to the list ~ Enjoy , or not . Up to you .

2010-05-30T16:39:00.003+08:00

Sorry guys , I won't be blogging for now . But the chatbox is still active so leave any comments or messages whenever you want to !

2010-05-26T18:30:00.003+08:00

I realised ... Whenever I update my post , people go 'Poof' and when I stop updating ... They'll be like : "Hey your blog is dead !"

Guys , don't bug me to update when you don't even come to my blog -.-

So , yeah . I'll be updating the blog in my own pace .

P/S : I feel like retaking the whole of A-levels ...

2010-05-25T20:58:00.002+08:00

I wonder

If someday someone found that I've fallen for her . What would her reaction be ? Just a sudden thought , so far I've seen girls being so rejective of those that likes them and they don't like those guys .

Well ... Its understandable I guess , people fell for me before and yeah all I wanted was to distance from them caring not to hurt them further . I wonder if girls have that way of thinking ...

2010-05-21T22:06:00.002+08:00

Things that I would like to say to my dear grandma :

-Shut up .
-I'm not your dog . So shut up again .
-Don't always come into my room or storeroom , you're invading my personal space .
-Please don't try to act like you're saint , you're more like a punisher . Who on Earth forces their grandchild to study throughout the day ? Just because you're a nerd . Shut up .
-Don't treat me like an idiot or kid . I know when I should eat and that's THAT . THE END .
-Fuck books , who the hell bring them to the grave anyway .
-Yes , I'll study but not the whole day . Can you please get out and close the door behind you ?
-Don't ask me silly questions , and yes . I'm taking Physics , Chemistry , Maths and General Paper .
-I'm full , enough of food . I don't want you to force me to eat anymore either .
-Think before you do something . PLEASE .
-Yes , I get the point . SO STOP HITTING ME TO GET MY ATTENTION !
-Am I done showering ? No , I just had a crap .
-You're annoying
-You're pissing me off
-Hai , kaythankscya .
-Just because I'm staring at the laptop , typing and moving the mouse . Doesn't mean I'm playing games dammit .
-Don't touch my stuff just because you wanted to , and don't bother adjusting their position . There's no earthquake so it won't fall from the table .
-Reality , you've never really been there have you ? Being old doesn't mean you know the world better .

Okay , I know what you want to say next . Don't . So , shut up .

2010-05-18T23:50:00.002+08:00

Meet GlaDDOS !! Singing 'Still Alive' .

2010-05-17T23:34:00.003+08:00

Ah well , we all know that every parent in this world wishes their child to be someone great since the day they were born . They sent them to school , tuitions , pay for everything they need . They did almost EVERYTHING just so to see their children grow up and become a respectable or perhaps powerful person in the future .

It seems that , I'll be failing them instead . Sorry guys but what can you expect from a son which detests reading the same thing over and over again , loves speeding , has a weird ambition , loves gaming , doesn't have a life ... Overall ... WEIRD ? Haha , the irony is ... I don't even think I'm useful one bit .

Bleah , you guys can't read this but at least I got it off my head . Getting nagged whole day and preaching me , I can't say this infront of you guys . Because if I did , none of you would be able to handle it .

2010-05-14T22:20:00.003+08:00

Irritated by everybody's rant on how Malaysia lost to China in badminton . Players nowadays actually do show great sportsmanship .

Its not all about winning but rather how to improve oneself and gaining experience from others . The spectators however , makes such a fuss from players losing . I mean , even the greatest sportsman loses once in awhile . How can they NOT be able to comprehend that ?

I guess that's one of the natures of human huh ?

2010-05-14T19:15:00.002+08:00

"Better change your tyres"
Wait , wut ? What's with this random sentence that popped out while I was looking at my car ?

2010-05-14T12:00:00.000+08:00

A sleeper , its going to be tough from here onwards .

2010-05-13T16:00:00.001+08:00

Whenever I feel bad , I just feel like driving away from home and go somewhere far ... But how far can I go ? I have things to do back here .

2010-05-10T23:57:00.003+08:00

Heya my dear blog ~ I have no idea why but I always end up here when I'm in a dilema . I guess , I just had to find something or somewhere to rant huh ?

People told me to go for it ... Well , should I ? I have no idea , cuz I know I won't be the one that she decides to be with or maybe ... as first runner up ? Nah ... I'm confident that she won't like me . So , I'm making myself lose that 'feeling' . Yeah , and here I am ... Trying to myself drunk with a glass of diluted whiskey ... What a joke .

2010-05-10T23:13:00.002+08:00

— — · · — · — · · · · · · · · — · · · — · · · — · · · · — · — — — · — · — · — — — — — · · —

2010-05-08T23:35:00.001+08:00

Wanted to be near you
But somebody owns you now
I'll try to live somehow

2010-05-08T18:42:00.001+08:00

Uhh ... After having to know so many people on Facebook , I realise I'm not the only one with problems . Well , maybe when compared . My problem might be slightly worse than their's .

2010-05-08T11:12:00.000+08:00

Hai guys , halp please . I'm in a kind of shitty situation .

2010-05-03T21:31:00.002+08:00

Can't I just be left with the LAST way of relieving my stress ? Even now , the whole of Malaysia is against me . Blocking my way everywhere I go ... Sigh .

2010-05-02T19:52:00.002+08:00

Hey , looking back at what I've posted . I feel ... much more matured , or shall I say signs of getting old ... -.-

2010-04-30T16:34:00.001+08:00

Ah ... When will I ever be honest with my own feelings ? Sigh Brendon , you really are useless aren't ya ?

2010-04-30T16:33:00.001+08:00

Sigh ... seriously ... When I don't update this page at all , you guyz keep ask me to update . After I've updated , nobody comes ! Geez ...

2010-04-25T14:44:00.001+08:00

Ah ... Its this time of the year again huh ? Sheesh , time sure flies ...

2010-04-24T23:54:00.002+08:00

Assignments , projects and ... exams . People get stressed by them but I on the other hand , don't give a shit about them . I wonder if its me or those people who are really having problems .

Ah ... Maybe I'm not wearing their shoes , that's why I don't know what they meant by 'stress' . You know , the 'put-yourself-into-other-people's-shoes' thingy ? Well , if you don't get that . Don't bother cracking your head trying to understand it -.-

I guess its because that ... I've faced so many troubles and shit up till now that , I'm so used to them . Everytime I face troubles , I'll be like "Ah ? Whatever ... " Hahahaha , bliss or curse ? I guess its different from how you look at it ...

2010-04-24T19:08:00.001+08:00

Its like ... I really don't like this 'reality' that I'm living in .

Yooo ....

2010-04-21T23:28:00.001+08:00

My new blogskin . A_A

I've been thinking ...

2010-04-21T22:00:00.002+08:00

Why do I always feel so lonely ... ? I'd want to have someone accompany me but then again , I don't want anybody by my side . Its kind of something like ... You want to make friends but you're afraid to lose someone close to you . Yeah , something like that .
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Why do I have this kind of look on my face ? Used to being alone I guess , all the boredomness somehow got stuck onto my face . Hahaha .
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What's the use of memorising books ? No idea , its been something on my mind for the past 10 years .
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Any fun games ... ? Yeah , Modern Warfare 2 , Left 4 Dead 2 and .... Oh !! Battlefield : Bad Company 2 !! Ah ... crap . I don't have a good desktop , neither do I have a PS3 or XBOX 360 ... and I'm short on money !!! No worries ! SAVE MONEY FROM NOW ON ! MUAHAAHAAHAHAH ~
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Should I send my car for repairs ? She's in bad shape ... No money ... Geez .
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Aerospace engineering ... I wonder if I can make it ! You know ... with my results ... my attitude .. HAH ! Maybe I should take up Mechanics instead ... Being a professional isn't easy ... hoho .
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Girlfriend ... That can wait , I'm still young afterall and I have my Waja ! My all time lovely partner !
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A-levels , no choice man ... Have to at least get credit for all do I ?
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What's life going to be from now onwards ? You know ... I'm not such a good 'life-management' person . Screwed up for the past few years ... Ahh ... Somehow being a small kid was so much better and easier ...
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Life research ... still in progress , not going to finish till I die ! HAHAHAHA !! Quite an interesting project by the way , wanna be a part of this project ? heh heh ...
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Life's not a journey ya know , its the beginning of everything ... Death's nothing but the end but I wonder if there's anymore after death ?
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I wonder if people would remember me after I'm dead . "Brendon used to be that ... used to be this ..." Ain't that interesting ...
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Cheezburger ... Yum ...
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Bunniez ! I can haz one ? Nah ~ My mum hates furry animals ...
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*Thinks of the small details on an aerofoil* Every matter COUNTS . Yes , there's calculation to the angle of air flow ...
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What's beyond the Universe ? A black hole is expressed in zero over one ? Since it sucks in everything and it seems limitless ...
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Regrets , that's what make a person .
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Study ... ? Eww ...
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Listening to the soundtracks of Final Fantasy VIII .. especially those of at Balamb Town and Fisherman's Horizan .
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People , how I wish this world was a better place ...
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Well ... just about everything that's on my mind daily . I think its not even half of the number of things in my mind -.-

Oh well , one of the most epic post ever !! Wee ~ *Self-high* Yeah , its boring -.-

How long has it been .. ?

2010-04-21T21:58:00.002+08:00

Ever since I had deleted my sad blog . They should've disappeared anyway , those feelings ... Care to know the contents ? You'll never know them in your life time . Aaaahahaha !!

Its a miracle ..

2010-03-23T23:16:00.001+08:00

How old soundtracks can make my eyes wet even when sad songs can't make me do so .

Bla bla bla ...

2010-03-23T21:27:00.000+08:00

There ! Updated !