Monday, March 25, 2024


As the title says, who the fuck reads my personal blog anyways ? WHERE ARE THOSE VIEWS COMING FROM ?!? But oh boy its been such a journey, 10 years went by just like that and all of sudden my blogger account just popped in my mind. Well here I am again ! 

Right right so what's happening in my life ? The most significant one would be me getting married in a few months I guess ? Aaahahahah such a huge contrast from the me 10 years ago, being salty and shit. However no kids, won't say I am not disappointed but I sure am looking forward to more adventures the two of us are going to share in the future. Will we live long ? Nobody knows, at this point we are really just going wherever seems and feels good for us. Currently still in the same old country but different state, moved to a bigger city, stuck at the same shit job ... OH RIGHT I GOT A JOB - As a customer service but that's for the next paragraph. People here are tense and always in a hurry, most of us are not friends but rather just associates and I'm fine with that. I like to keep my friend circle small and nice, pointless having too many friends and none of them who really knows you amirite ? 

I changed cars 4 times since then - Persona, GT86, MX5 and now to a small sized passenger car, Axia ... and I got a house ! Just shy of 1k sqft but hey its roof over my head aye ? Enjoyed the MX5 the most, convertible, small cc engine that's peppy and fuel economical, its Mazda, everything is cheap to maintain ... Alas I couldn't keep it due to financial reasons (because my silly ass got the house duhhhh and my wages ain't going higher !) and had to change to a more economical car. All is well, the Axia is fun in the sense that its so small it turns so well, raises a lot of eyebrow and definitely not as gutless as it seems. I love it (still want my MX5 back tho). Participated in a few motorsports events - drifting, gymkhana, (illegal) touge and many other stuff. Got to know a lot of cool people, some assholes and legends only seen or heard from news. This is the only part of me that hasn't changed really, I still love speed but now its more towards the corners. 

Ahh yes I believe I mentioned somewhere that I never got why people have stress ? Jokes on me I now have anxiety disorder, depression and I believe something that never got found out - ADHD. I am now one with stress, in fact I am made of stress, moulded by stress. I never seen relieve before I even made it out of stress (bruv, dafuq ?). Jokes aside, I believe many things made me what I am today.
1) Genetics - My asshole of a father is definitely mental issue stricken and my mother never knew (or rather she knew but decided to stick with him because engineer, ugh.). That motherless egocentric twat sure passed on some pretty sweet stuff to me, namely Thalassemia carrier, anxiety disorder, some cholesterol disorders, history of stroke, high blood, alcoholism and etc. Though the thing confirmed thus far is only anxiety disorder and cholesterol issues (alcoholism was an issue but I cut it quite some time ago).
2) Family - People always think I had a good upbringing, a good and easy life. Aaaaahahaahahhah no. I've been so pressured since young because I am the only child. All the unnecessary love, pampering, nagging and most importantly ... Have they ever thought how are they going to live after retirement ? Money is an issue, a big one. Though the mental torture was more critical than I thought.
3) Money - HOLY SHIT MONEHHHH. Yes I need more money to pay for my housing loan, lifestyle and hopefully a new toy car iykwim.

So I started a job in a prominent local company, public listed and all. Truth is, my family is able to survive thanks to it and I managed this far also thanks to it. Yet its a kind of love hate relationship because of how corporate and capitalism works. That said, I've been working here for 9 years. Perhaps I need to start looking elsewhere ? Life is getting pretty dull here and management ... well management is always good at fucking things up anyways. I have a theory that most company management are elected just as a means to do relation building with other companies or perhaps the government, the candidates just seem so ... impotent (sorry I mean important). 9 years and I am still not a general manager of sorts, in fact I got a downgrade recently because of how my superior couldn't work well. Why is this my problem ? God knows why, I guess people in general don't want to improve, they just want to feel good about the environment and themselves without knowing why they are stressed or where is the source of their problems. Any time someone makes a complain or legit feedback - OH YOU'RE NOT TEAM ORIENTED. Lo and behold, you get sent to Mordor. Right so I started out as customer service, got really pissed at how incompetent our technical department was and decided to transfer out to another branch's tech. Went there, boss was shit, the boss's boss was shit and they decided that "Hey its not us that is shit, you're shit." and now I am back to square one with the company repeating its mistake every damn fucking year. Getting pretty tired of this shit, they know that. Everyone knows it, yet no one is brave enough to make a difference. Pathetic. 

Welp I've typed a lot, probably leave some for the future. TLDR; I've changed (a bit) but you are all still bitches. Fuck you and see you all soon. 

P/S : I got a dog, Fluff and a cat, Pudding. They are precious. 


Its all ... just a dream . 3:19:00 PM



Thursday, April 3, 2014


So I actually DO REMEMBER MY BLOG !! HOLY SMOKES !!! 

Alright alright , time to get down to business . Still single , still studying in the same shit college . Nothing much happening lately ...

One thing though , I am unable to comprehend the stress people are experiencing . I understand that everybody has their breaking point and things that causes them immense stress . Yet to me its like "Mehh , big deal ." I can't feel stress , I can't understand how people think when they are stressed . Why the need to have a personal space ? Why treat others like shit when you are the one going through shit ? Nobody knows , nobody cares . Then again some of them are my friends , I can't just leave them be and whenever I ask I get the popular answer of the year "Its okay , its my problem . Give me some space ." DUDE YOU DON'T NEED SPACE , YOU NEED TO FUCKING SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM . FOR FUCK SAKE NOW I KNOW HOW ANNOYING I WAS WHEN I GOT DUMPED .

Studies ... College still screwing us up . Having problems knowing when is the retest and when is the recourse . Best part is ... We have no semester break this year ! Yay !! ... Fuck . I didn't sign up and pay for this shit .

Social ... Same as ever , avoid the dumb fucks , distance from the average , envy the smart . Keep getting called a gay for no reason whatsoever ... I'm as straight as your mum's vagina you faggots . Luck with ladies ? Forget it . A person like me can only hope to AT LEAST get their attention , which ..... I don't ! Hooray for Brendon ! Unluckiest man when it comes to stuff other than money . What the heck did I do to deserve all these bullshit ...

Health ... Yeah I'm okay in this department . My dick and balls are still around sooooooo yeah all is fine . 

Games ... Gotta hate the lucky fags and noobs that keeps get teamed up with me . 

My car ? AWESOME ! Change a new tail lamp so it looks much more appealing ... I guess ? (One of my lady friend doesn't like it , says it looks gangster-ish)

Took this in an empty car lot near my apartment ... Better days . 

Once again ... Anybody who actually follows this blog . You know when to expect my next post , stay classy people .


Its all ... just a dream . 12:10:00 AM



Wednesday, October 23, 2013


Hey bitch ! I'm back !! So yeah since nobody ever comes here I'll just talk to myself ... No fuck that , this is a personal public diary ... ?

DCA exams around the corner , can't screw around much like I used to . Bummer , aye . Then again , I've found this new game called Warframe . Am damn addicted to it and I seriously don't know if I can even pass my papers (I did not pass any papers recently ... Except for engines . Yay for weird ass mentality ?) . Speaking of studies , my training school's services is just going down the drain . I mean , to have a recourse after sitting the exam for a licensing ?! What if I passed it ? What if I ACED it ?!?!? Isn't it similiar to spitting them in the face ? I don't know , my coursemates (well some of them .) are actually pissed as hell . I have no idea how I'm still maintaining my composure . Funny that .

Went to a club last weekend with my friend . Yeah got introduced to a girl . Pretty cute , couldn't resist her cuteness when she got drunk . I- I didn't know what to do !! Those drunk puppy eyes just got me !! Don't judge me people !! And so ... as usual ... I'm the driver . Driving in midnight is fun especially in a shit city like this . Roads are clear of traffic , some parts of town having nice Grand Prix like roads . I might have spooked a few drivers on the road with my driving , my apologies dear citizens of shit-town .

Let's see ... My life updates ...... Its fucking close to the same as the last time I posted ! Yeah sure I brushed up on my spellings and way of typing but that's it .... Right ? Okay okay , I may have grown out my hair a bit (its messy ... like a bush !) , have new tastes in music ... New tastes in girls- Naaaaahhhh , I still like any good looking girl I come across . No , fuck that anime powers shit from my last post ! ... Then again , it would be nice if she had horns on her head . (Damn weird fetishes of mine !) My car ... she's doing fine . Apparently having a few squeaks on the left rear wheel , sent to the mechanics and the old dude just goes "Oh , time for new brake discs ! Its a bit out of shape so that might be your source ." I was like "Bitch don't you screw with me , I know its not as simple as the brake discs . Time to leave motherfucker !" Just as I was about to leave ... "Ten ringgit ." WHAT. THE. GEEZERS. CRAP ! Ten bucks for an inspection ?! Might as well ask me to donate it to yo ass ! When asked for a receipt , I just wave in disgust and drove off back to my aunt's cozy little dirty apartment . (I'm an asshole for stating this here . Hahahahahah .)

Friends ... Honestly I don't even know if I can still call them as my 'friends' . Most of them I do not talk to , don't even hang out with- We may have just became people-who-know-each-other that's all . Engineering is a boring life ... Aaaaahhhh ......

That's all for this time folks ! Look forward to the next update uhh ... next year . If I actually still remember the password for this account . Till then , smell ya around !


Its all ... just a dream . 7:28:00 PM



Tuesday, November 20, 2012


Heeeeeyy !! Holy crap its been such a long time . Can't believe I still remember my password for blogger ... Oh well , it just struck me so I thought I might as well post something !

There are times when I feel the need to jot down my feelings . Nothing special really . I just had the need to keep track of my own sanity . You know , single child in the family , being physically weak . Besides that , dealing with all the crap happening in the world daily . Phew ! Its seriously some tough work for my brain and this little heart of mine .

Let's see ... I'm almost 21 this year . Yay ? I don't know whether to be happy to reach adulthood or be sad about it . I used to wish for adulthood so much when I was young so that I can do anything I want . Yet now that I'm almost there , I wish I was a kid again . Those were the days when my fantasies run wild and everything seem to be fine .

Hahahaha which reminds me , I'm like a fucking oracle . Well , in my case I predict only the worst . Everytime I'm about to do something , I'll be all excited about it and suddenly there would be this pessmistic thought "I'm sure it would turn out bad ." Of course it did . Maybe I should start predicting good things to happen ! Who knows , I might get a cute girlfriend with this supernatural power of mine . Heh .

Ahh yes , read the latest translated version of the manga Kannagi . Its good stuff but it when on hiatus for some reason ? I don't know , good to see some progress on the storyline . So , faith ? Everybody needs them . How the hell have I been living so long without faith ?! Once again I'm impressed with myself (I know , its hard to get friends being so ... 'special' . Even if I do have friends , they seldom meet and greet or maybe I'm just hoping too much for people to finally talk to me . Pfft , talk about not having faith and here I am talking hopes and wishes .)

WHOA , LONG POST I HAVE THERE . Bear with me blogger ! ... Or whoever is going to read this anyway . (Damn , you must be hell of a bored person if you managed to come here .)

Alright , my criterias for a girlfriend ...
-Sweet
-Caring
-Cute
-Pretty
-Have cat eats (What .)
-Cat tail (Huh .)
-Tsundere (Seriously ?)
-Doesn't grow old (... )

Neh , just the first four . Well ... It'll be a bonus if I can have just one of last four ! Nyeheheheheh .

Oh right by the way , I'm sick of staying in this shit hostel my company put us up with (Us ? Well yeah , me and my coursemates .) Its not just shitty ... How do I describe it ...... Its same as staying in a jungle , except with lights and clean water .

And ... End of my long post ! Damn , you guys are patient ! Treat yourself to a cookie will ya ? Most people can't stand reading such a long and useless post . You're special ! Till next time , see ya around blogger and uhh ... Any folks actually reading this . Live dangerously , live with colour !


Its all ... just a dream . 1:55:00 AM



Sunday, July 29, 2012


All I need is a good cry once in awhile . I'll be alright .


Its all ... just a dream . 11:59:00 PM



Tuesday, May 1, 2012


Hey there my sad and depressing blog ! I'm back . However , this time I'm not as sad as before . Let's just say I've decided to be another somebody in this world .


Its all ... just a dream . 11:49:00 PM



Monday, October 31, 2011


First to fall in love loses . I lost ... hard .


Its all ... just a dream . 10:37:00 PM


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